Updated: Aug 29, 2019
‘What about the trauma you create by being absent for your kids?
I’m still dealing with the trauma’s of my childhood’ she posted.
A very recognizable situation with so many layers.
I will share about being present with kids, my personal situation and how I perceive parenthood later, but would love to clarify things about trauma.
I played the same role out for so many years. Perceiving my childhood far from stabile and loving. Believing it was the fault of my parents, victimizing myself, repeating the same story all over to receive attention. The attention and love I felt my parents didn’t gave me.
I write this content in the ‘I’ form without pointing out to my parents at all, because everything you perceive is always about you and ONLY you. As the realization came, or as I would call it - the waking up or reconnection with source - everything changed. At first I was able to see that everything I perceive is MY responsibility.
That means that blaming others is off duty.
With every emotion, judgment, idea that arises I take responsibility to investigate it deeper.
Where is this coming from? Which memory, lack belief, pattern is showing up here, which means I am still identifying with something I am not. Life is aways carrying us, supporting us.
We ARE unconditional love, so every trigger showing up shows me a imbalance in this trust and knowing and is an invitation to empty myself more.
It is a daily exercise, and only if you really want to go there, when you are done with who you believe you are you are open and committed to change.
As long as you are not, forget it.
It takes courage, a lot of compassion and curiosity towards yourself to shred everything you identified with.
A rebirth in loosing all attachments including the belief who you are as an individual.
You might feel not ready, and that is perfectly ok.
Every soul has its own journey.
I only can share what happens in my life and how it opens up more love, faith, aliveness and a freer existence.
Be aware of the fact that as long you repeat the story you believe, as long you play the role of the victim, you will stay the victim.
But you can change that in a second, a shift.
Then you are done with it.
And it will no longer be a burden and control you reality.
You release the chains.
When you as an adult look back at the traumas (of your childhood) you only get stuck more when you are pointing (others) out.
It is important to take your own responsibility and to blame NO ONE outside yourself.
I have seen miracles happen in the blink of an eye.
As long as I believed the limitations the transformation didn’t happen or went very slow, but as soon as I owned a different reality the shift happened in seconds.
In admitting what you are not, in acknowledging where you are right here and now. In loving yourself in the knowing everything is perfect.
In the vulnerability and the willingness to change.
Everything is possible.